CYBER ADDICTION RECOVERY CENTER
CHRISTOPHER MULLIGAN
LCSW
Solutions for Teen Cybersex Addiction
LGBTQ Teens
The
combination of a LGTBQ teen’s emerging curiosity and confusion about sex, their
increasing sex drive, together with the accessibility and aggressive marketing
of sex on the internet, has resulted in online sex or “cybersex” becoming a
regular part of their sexual development. Unfortunately, research suggests between 10
and 15 percent of teens (straight and LGTBQ) cannot manage moderate behavior when they
engage in sexual activity online and quickly develop compulsive behaviors that
can result in addiction.
The
term cybersex
is a catchall phrase used to describe a wide variety of computer and cell phone
based sexual behaviors. These behaviors include accessing online pornography
(audio, video, text), engaging in sexual chats, creating an avatar to engage in
sexual acts or chats, using WebCams to engage in “live” interactive sexual
behavior, using social media sites or email to arrange offline sexual
encounters, using sex toys designed for the online world, or a combination of
all of the above.
For
the majority of teens - straight and LGTBQ - the preferred form of cybersex is
“sexting.” The term “sexting” refers to communication with content that
includes sexually explicit pictures and/or text messages sent using cell phones
or other electronic devices.
Although
sexting may be the preferred form of cybersex, increasing numbers of LGBTQ and
straight teens are engaging in sexual interaction in chat rooms (with friends,
acquaintances, and strangers), using WebCams to engage in interactive sexual
behavior with a “live” partner (friends, acquaintances, and strangers), and
using the Internet to locate and “hook up” with anonymous sexual partners .
LGBTQ
and straight teens are also growing increasingly focused on online pornography
and are developing significant problems controlling their behavior. Material
with explicit sexual content exists in cyberspace at a total of 400 million
pages and counting! Some pornography is found on professional sites, but much
of it is found on amateur sites. Parents are generally unaware chat rooms and
popular websites that allow instant messaging can easily lead to images from
WebCams that are sexual in nature.
Research
shows that when sexual arousal occurs after viewing a sexual image, the
neurotransmitter epinephrine is released. Epinephrine makes its way to the
brain which serves to “lock” the image in to the brain’s capacity for recall.
The teen can then recall the image at any time, triggering the same feelings of
excitement and arousal. Other neurotransmitters are also released such as dopamine,
serotonin, endorphins, and adrenaline which create euphoric states, causing
the teen to search for images that will create the same experience. For many teens, the accessibility and
anonymity of cyberspace make it very difficult to resist pornographic sites,
which can lead to addiction.
Getting
Help for Compulsive Cybersex
If
you believe your LGBTQ teen has developed compulsive online sexual behaviors, it
is crucial to confront this problem directly in order provide appropriate help.
The
focus of our treatment program is to assist the sexually compulsive LGBTQ teen
in decreasing destructive online sexual behaviors while simultaneously
increasing healthy offline sexual behaviors.
As
would follow, our treatment program has two primary goals:
1) Reduce the teen's immediate short-term destructive behaviors. Achieving this goal
includes 1) helping the teen understand sexual compulsivity by learning to
differentiate high risk behaviors from healthy sexual behaviors 2) learning to
identify emotional triggers and thinking errors that lead to compulsive sexual
behaviors, and 3) learning how to reduce high risk sexual behaviors by
developing social and therapeutic support.
2) Develop healthy sexual behaviors. Achieving this goal
includes 1) understanding the function/purpose of sexual compulsivity 2)
understanding the cost/risks of maintaining sexually compulsive behaviors 3)
learning what constitutes healthy sexuality, and 4) learning how to cope with
relapse/desire to re-engage in sexually compulsive behaviors.
Our program is designed to help LGTBQ teens
understand the function of their sexually compulsive behavior while simultaneously
providing information that encourages healthy sexual choices. Additionally, our
program helps LGTBQ teens learn to negotiate barriers to achieving long-term
sexual well-being.
Our
treatment program progresses through three stages:
1)
Stage I: Problem identification (taking an off-line and
online sexual history, defining problematic sexual behavior, defining different
types of online sexual behaviors, tracking behavior through an Internet
activity log, identifying emotional and cognitive triggers, identifying
high-risk situations, understanding how compulsive sexual behavior is
maintained despite negative consequences, defining the process of change, and creating
an immediate short-term harm reduction plan).
2)
Stage II: Primary treatment (defining sexual
identity and sexual orientation, defining the role of body image in healthy
sexuality, defining the role of fantasy in healthy sexuality, defining intimacy
in the context of sexual relationships, defining spirituality/values in the
context of healthy sexuality, defining sexual functioning, defining health sexuality,
and defining barriers to sexual health,).
3)
Stage III: Continuing care plan
(creating a long-term sexual health plan, reviewing the role of healthy
sexuality in psychological well-being, reviewing social and emotional triggers,
understanding the role of relapse in developing sexual health, and creating an
ongoing support system).
LGBTQ
Orientation
Our
treatment program is tailored to the unique strengths and challenges of each
teen and his/her family and focuses on helping the LGBTQ teen understand and
develop a lifelong healthy sexuality.
In
the context of helping the sexually compulsive LGBTQ teen understand how to
create a life-long pattern of healthy sexuality, our program incorporates the
following material:
1) Understanding the biology/science
of LGTBQ sexuality.
2) Myths, generalizations
and distortions about sex within the LGTBQ community.
3) Confronting homophobia
in society and school.
4) Deciding to “come out” (with
family, community, and school).
5) Making social connections
within LGTBQ community.
6) Dating and relationships
within the LGTBQ community (LGTBQ dating basics).
7) Sex and sexuality
(making sound decisions about sex, avoiding abusive relationships, identifying myths
and truths about LGTBQ sex).
8) Transgender teens (what
it means to be transgender and dating and sexual options for transgender
teens).
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