Teen Cyber Sex: What's a Parent to Do?

Below is an excerpt from a blog by Rob Weiss - former director of the Sexual Recovery Institute and expert on sexual behavior and sexual addiction.

Porn

Many parents also worry that their kids will be exposed to online pornography. This, too, is a legitimate concern. In today’s world if a boy (or girl) is curious about sex all he or she needs to do is find a porn site and click a button that says “Yes, I’m 18.” There is no need to display a driver’s license as proof of age, and no need to borrow a parent’s credit card to pay. Simply put, pornography of every ilk imaginable is now ubiquitous, available to anyone, anytime, on almost any digital device, and more often than not it’s free. Even kids who aren’t actively seeking porn can easily be exposed to inappropriate content. Frankly, the number of seemingly innocuous words that bring up porn sites when typed into an Internet search engine is shocking.

The undeniable fact is nowadays children encountering pornography is extremely common. In one 2008 survey of 594 college students (median age 19 years), 93 percent of male students and 62 percent of female students said they’d seen online pornography prior to age 18. Typically the age of first exposure was reported to be between the ages of 14 and 17.[ii] Keep in mind, this study was conducted in 2008,before the current online porn explosion. More recent research suggests the average age of first exposure to Internet porn is now 11.[iii] Again, next week’s blog will discuss ways to shield your kids from online porn exposure (and other inappropriate content and contact).

Sexting

Now that computers and smartphones have built-in digital cameras and webcams, it is incredibly easy for a kid to impulsively take a provocative self-photo and send it to another person. Unfortunately, once that image is sent the child loses all control over it; the recipient may keep it private, forward it to others, or post it online for public viewing. For many teens, sexted images are redefining what it means to have a bad break-up, as resentful former boyfriends or girlfriends can send and/or post an ex’s nude image pretty much anywhere, anytime.

Of further concern is the fact that when minors sext a photo, even to other teens, they are (usually unwittingly) violating laws that prohibit the making and dissemination of child pornography. Numerous teens have been arrested and charged with this offense. In one particularly nasty incident a 16-year old girl accidentally uploaded a nude photo of herself to a social networking site. Although she quickly deleted the image, another teen from her school had already seen and downloaded it. He then threatened to distribute it if she didn’t send him more pictures. When she refused, he forwarded the photo to about 100 other people at their school. This boy was later arrested and charged with a felony. Eventually he pled guilty and was placed on probation.

^[iv]

Although teen sexting has received a lot of media attention because of its shock value, it is actually somewhat uncommon. Only about 1 percent of kids say they have knowingly created, sent, or appeared in sexually explicit imagery. So, media fear-mongering aside, it appears that only a small minority of teens actually sext. Those who do engage in experimental sexting may face school expulsion or even arrest as a consequence, though most do not. That said, for a teenaged girl or boy, having one’s nude picture passed around one’s high-school or posted online can be a far worse (and longer lasting) punishment than anything the legal system might dish out.

Reflections on Growing Up Connected to Nature

Reflections on growing up connected to nature:

During the late 1960s and early 1970s I had the great fortune of growing up in the Santa Monica Mountains that surround the western side of Los Angeles. My backyard didn't have a fence line, but rather opened up on to the terrain of the mountains. I spent so much time outdoors that I have very few memories of recreating and playing indoors.

In a typical week my friends and I climbed trees, swam in the Pacific Ocean, hiked, ran and jumped as we raced from the top of a mountain peak, dug trenches and tunnels, built forts, and road our bicycles. We engaged in imaginary play, taking on the roles of heroes and villains, as we explored our natural surroundings.

As we spent time playing outdoors, we shared our physical space with animals that were indigenous to the Santa Monica Mountain: birds, rabbits, squirrels, snakes, insects, deer, and the occasional sighting of a coyote.

What is extraordinary about this period of time is that we were given the opportunity to negotiate our relationship to nature and to each other without constant adult supervision. In fact, I can hardly remember a time when an adult intervened in our explorations and play. Instead, we were allowed to figure out our relationship to nature and to each other and, in so doing, we developed a wide variety of abilities and skills.

What were the benefits and lessons of growing up connected to nature? We developed coordination and confidence in our bodies. Given the amount of aerobic exercise we engaged in, we developed stamina and strength. We were fit and lean and able to handle bumps, bruises, and cuts.

As would follow, we developed safety skills. We knew how far to hike, how fast to run, and where we could ride our bikes. We also developed our conflict resolution skills, our imagination, and our ability to innovate and improvise. And, above all, we all developed a respect for and recognition of the importance of nature.

Over the past quarter-century I have worked with children, teens, and families as an educator and a mental health professional. Sadly, during this period I have seen a steady decline in outdoor physical activity and an increasing disconnection from nature -- especially over the past decade.

There are many reasons for this unfortunate change, including the expansion of suburbs into green spaces, parks that are configured to exclude nature, schools that do not take advantage of nearby natural resources, fear on the part of parents that play in nature will result in injury and, most of all, the expansion of home based recreational technology: multiple televisions hooked up to cable networks with hundreds of channels, handheld devices like the Nintendo DS, laptop computers, and most recently, smart phones and tablets.

According to research conducted by the Kaiser Family Foundation, 8 to 18-year-olds are spending 7.5 hours per day connected to some form of technology. When switch tasking is included, which simply means jumping from one form of technology to another, the actual number spent in front of a screen increases to 10.5 hours per day.

According to the Mayo Clinic, the consequences of excessive screen time are pervasive and serious. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends limiting the use of TV, movies, video and computer games to no more than one or two hours per day. When children spend three or four times this amount connected to screen, the Mayo Clinic reports that they are more likely to experience physical and mental health problems. Excessive screen time has been linked to childhood obesity, irregular sleep, impaired academic performance, and a wide variety of behavioral problems.

The Mayo Clinic reports that elementary students who spend more than 2 hours per day in front of screens are likely to have emotional, social, and attention problems. Exposure to video games increases the risk of attention problems and children who watch excessive amounts of TV are more likely to bully children than children who do not. The Mayo Clinic also reports that consistent exposure to media violence can desensitize children to violence. As a result, some children accept violent behavior as a normal part of resolving conflicts. 

Finally, excessive screen time leaves little time for active, outdoor, creative play.

The research provided by the Mayo Clinic is supported by the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) and the National Institutes of Mental Health (NIMH). For example, according to the CDC, approximately 17% (or 12.5 million) of children and adolescents aged 2-19 are obese and obesity rates among children and teens have nearly tripled since 1980.

According to the NIMH attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) now affects 9% of American children and current studies show that the number of children being diagnosed with ADHD is increasing each year. Studies measuring the prevalence of autism spectrum disorder show a dramatic increase each year. Research by the CDC has established that 1 in 55 children now meet criteria for autism spectrum disorder.

What can parents do to reverse this disconnection from nature and prevent the serious developmental and psychiatric consequences that are linked to excessive screen time? First, parents need to set a positive example for their children. Parents need to lead an active lifestyle and make family physical activity a priority. This includes taking walks together after dinner, doing yard work together, and making use of public parks and outdoor recreation areas -- including camping.

Parents need to encourage aerobic and muscle building activities every day by connecting children to the outdoors.  Rather than view vigorous outdoor activities as a source of danger, parents need to remember that children are resilient and strong and therefore should be encouraged to hike, bike, dig, climb trees, and swim. Unfortunately, only 6% of children ages 9 to 13 play outside on their own. Studies show a dramatic decline over the past decade in outdoor activities like swimming and fishing and a 31% decrease in bike riding since 1995.

Parents should also encourage their children to be active with their peers. Parents need to make sure that children play outside instead of watching television or playing video games inside. Parents need to take the time to connect their children and their friends to activities that occur in nature, such as organizing a beach day or mountain bike riding.

Parents need to partner with schools by encouraging the implementation of comprehensive physical activity programs and by helping organize special events that connect children to their natural surroundings. Parents need to educate schools that there are cognitive benefits to physical activity. Studies show that schools that use outdoor classrooms produce gains in test scores in social studies, science, language arts, and math. One study by the California Department of Education established that students in outdoor science programs improve science testing scores by 27%.

Parents can also join the Sierra Club, America's largest grassroots environmental organization. The Sierra Club’s mission is to “enjoy, explore, and protect the planet." Sierra Club programs seek to expand the conservation movement,organize grassroots and administrative support for the value of outdoor experiences, and build alliances and partnerships that protect our natural resources. 

As for the immediate future, parents can participate in the Great Outdoors America Week. Great Outdoors America Week (GO Week) is considered the preeminent event celebrating our relationship to the great outdoors and advocating for its future. As one of the largest annual conservation and outdoor focused events, GO Week serves the purpose of increasing awareness of important issues that affect the outdoors by bringing together a wide array of organizations and activists to meet with lawmakers and administrators to advocate for our outdoor way-of-life.

It is important to underscore that the foundation for all of the above is parents setting clear and firm limits about screen time use. As noted above, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends a maximum of two hours of media time per day: television, computer, movies and DVDs, and video games. Without firm and consistent limits, children will opt to stay disconnected from nature and remain connected to the ever-expanding world of recreational technology.

Cyber Addiction Recovery Center

Christopher Mulligan LCSW

www.teenvideogameaddiction.com

Get Unplugged!

Outdoor-Recreational Activities for “Tech” Dependent/Addicted Kids and Teens

The Cyber Addiction Recovery Center is offering a therapeutic program designed to help children and teens break the destructive cycle of compulsive internet and video gaming use. Children and teens will participate in a variety of outdoor activities that will improve physical conditioning, develop new recreational skills, and connect members to our natural surroundings. Rather than focus strictly on decreasing or restricting access to technology our program is intended to promote motivation to live a healthy and balanced life.  

In order to create new and adaptive behaviors “tech” dependent/addicted children and teens must get “unplugged” from their home environment. Participating in outdoor recreational activities is the most effective way to help technology dependent/addicted children and teens develop an awareness of how technology is limiting the quality of their lives.

By engaging in recreational activities that involve outdoor exercise, physical competence and teamwork children and teens will develop social skills, problem solving skills as well an expanded range of recreational interest. By creating these changes group members will learn the benefits of “plugging in” to a non-technological dependent life style.

SAMPLE ACTIVITIES

Activity 1: Day Hike

Activity 2: Bike Ride

Activity 3: Ocean swimming/boogie boarding

Activity 4: Park Day (Capture the flag/kick ball/hand ball)

Activity 5: Park Day (Relay races/Tag medley)

Activity 6: Park Day (Water fun – water balloons, water guns, etc.)

Activity 7: Park Day (Nerf Base Ball/Nerf football)

Activity 8: Introduction to core strength (Balance ball, free weights, stretching, etc.)

This program meets for 12 Saturdays between 12pm and 4pm at different locations across the Westside of Los Angeles.

For more information, contact Christopher Mulligan LCSW at 855-735-HELP or email cyberrecovery@gmail.com.

Hypersexualization of Teens via Media Bibliography Blue Ribbon Symposium PLUS

Hypersexualization of Teens via Media Bibliography

Blue Ribbon Symposium PLUS  -- updated 4-29-13

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Anderson, C. (n.d.). Readings & resources related to countering demand:

Normalization of sexual harm, the sexually toxic environment & impact of pornography. Sensibilities, Inc: Minneapolis, MN.

Anderson, C., & Cooper, S. (2011). Countering harmful social trends: Actions to prevent the impact from normalization of sexual harm & child sexual exploitation. Sensibilities, Inc: Minneapolis, MN.

Anderson, C. (2012). The impact of pornography on children, youth, & culture. NEARI Press: Holyoke, MA.

Attwood, F. (2005). What do people do with porn? Qualitative research into the consumption, use and experience of pornography and other sexually explicit media. Sexuality and Culture, 9(2), 65-86. http://dx.doi.org/10.1007/s12119-005-1008-7

Baumgartner, S. E., Valkenburg, P. M., & Peter, J. (2010). Unwanted online sexual solicitation and risky sexual online behavior across the lifespan. Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology, 31(6), 439-447. http://dx.doi.org/10.1016/j.appdev.2010.07.005

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Bonino, S., Ciairano, S., Rabaglietti, E., & Cattelino, E. (2006). Use of pornography and self-reported engagement in sexual violence among adolescents, European Journal of Developmental Psychology, 3(3), 265-288. http://dx.doi.org/10.1080/17405620600562359

Braun-Courville, D. K., & Rojas, M. (2009). Exposure to sexually explicit websites and adolescent sexual attitudes and behaviors. Journal of Adolescent Health, 45, 156-162. doi:10.1016/j.jadohealth.2008.12.004

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Edell, D., Brown, L. M., & Tolman, D. (in press). Embodying sexualization: When theory meets practice in intergenerational feminist activism. Feminist Theory.

Jensen, R., & Okrina, D. (2004, July). Pornography and sexual violence. Retrieved from http://www.vawnet.org/sexual-violence/print-document.php?doc_id=418&find_type=web_desc_AR

Malamuth, N. (1996).  Sexually explicit media, gender differences and evolutionary theory. Journal of Communication, 46 (3), 8-31. http://dx.doi.org/10.1111/j.1460-2466.1996.tb01486.x

Malamuth, N., Addison, T., & Koss, M.  (2000).  Pornography and sexual aggression:  Are there  reliable effects and can we understand them?  Annual Review of Sex Research, 11, 26-91. Retrieved from http://www.tandf.co.uk/journals/spissue/hjsr-si.asp

Malamuth, N. (2001). Pornography.  In N. J. Smelser & P. B. Baltes (Ed.) International Encyclopedia of Social and Behavioral Sciences, (Vol.17, pp. 11816-11821).  Elsevier: Amsterdam, NY.

Malamuth, N. M., & Huppin, M. (2005). Pornography and teenagers: The importance of individual differences. Adolescent Medicine Clinic, 16(2). 315-326. doi:10.1016/j.admecli.2005.02.004

Maltz, W. (2009, November/December). Out of the shadows. The Psychotherapy Networker. Retrieved from http://www.psychotherapynetworker.org/magazine/recentissues/694-out-of-the-shadow?start=6

Martino, S. C., Collins, R. L., Elliott, M. N., Strachman, A., Kanouse, D. E., & Berry, S. H. (2006). Exposure to degrading versus nondegrading music lyrics and sexual behavior among youth. Pediatrics, 118(2), e430-e441. http://dx.doi.org/10.1542/peds.2006-0131

Mulligan, C. (Interviewer) & Maltz, W. (Interviewee). (2012, February 9). The Impact of Cyber Porn on Teens [Interview transcript]. Retrieved from The Cyber Addiction Recovery Center Web site: http://cybersolutionstoday.blogspot.com/2012/02/interview-with-wendy-maltz-lcsw-impact.html

National Coalition to Prevent Child Sexual Abuse and Exploitation. (2011). The impact of pornography on children and youth. Retrieved from http://www.preventtogether.org/Resources/Documents/Impact_of_Porn_on_Youth_9.pdf

Owens, E. W., Behun, R. J., Manning, J. C., & Reid, R. C. (2012). The impact of internet pornography on adolescents: A review of the research, sexual addiction & compulsivity. The Journal of Treatment & Prevention, 19(1-2), 99-122. doi:10.1080/10720162.2012.660431

Papadopoulos, L. (2010, February). Sexualization of young people review [PDF document]. Retrieved from http://webarchive.nationalarchives.gov.uk/+/http:/www.homeoffice.gov.uk/documents/Sexualisation-of-young-people2835.pdf?view=Binary

Peter, J., & Valkenburg, P. M. (2006). Adolescents’ exposure to sexually explicit material on the internet. Communication Research, 33(2), 178-204. http://dx.doi.org/10.1177/0093650205285369

Peter, J., & Valkenburg, P. M. (2006). Adolescents’ exposure to sexually explicit online material and recreational attitudes toward sex. Journal of Communication, 56, 639-660. doi:10.1111/j.1460-2466.2006.00313.x 

Peter, J., & Valkenburg, P. M. (2008, October). Adolescents’ exposure to sexually explicit material, sexual uncertainty, and attitudes toward uncommitted sexual exploration: Is there a link? Communication Research, 35(5), October 579-601. doi:10.1177/0093650208321754

Peter, J., & Valkenburg, P. M. (2008). Adolescents' exposure to sexually explicit internet material and sexual preoccupancy: A three-wave panel study. Media Psychology, 11(2), 207-234. http://dx.doi.org/10.1080/15213260801994238

Peter, J., & Valkenburg, P. M. (2009). Adolescents’ exposure to sexually explicit internet material and notions of women as sex objects: Assessing causality and underlying processes. Journal of Communication, 59, 407-433. doi:10.1111/j.1460-2466.2009.01422.x

Peter, J., & Valkenburg, P. M. (2010). Adolescents' use of sexually explicit internet material and sexual uncertainty: The role of involvement and gender. Communication Monographs, 77(3), 357-375. http://dx.doi.org/10.1080/03637751.2010.498791

Peter, J., & Valkenburg, P. M. (2010). Process underlying the effects of adolescents’ use of sexually explicit internet material: The role of perceived realism. Communication Research, 37(3), 375-399. doi:10.1177/0093650210362464

Peter, J., & Valkenburg, P. M. (2011).  The use of sexually explicit internet material and its antecedents: A longitudinal comparison of adolescents and adults. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 40(5), 1015-1025. doi:10.1007/s10508-010-9644-x

Peter, J., & Valkenburg, P. M. (2011). The influence of sexually explicit internet material and peers on stereotypical beliefs about women’s sexual roles: Similarities and differences between adolescents and adults. Cyberpsychology, Behavior, & Social Networking, 14(9), 511-517. http://dx.doi.org/10.1089/cyber.2010.0189

Peter, J., & Valkenburg, P. M. (2011). The influence of sexually explicit internet material on sexual risk behavior: A comparison of adolescents and adults. Journal of Health Communication, 16(7), 750-765. http://dx.doi.org/10.1080/10810730.2011.551996

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Sabina, C., Wolak, J., & Finkelhor, D. (2008). Rapid communication: The nature and dynamics of internet pornography exposure for youth. CyberPsychology & Behavior, 11(6). doi:10.1089/cpb.2007.0179

Strasburger, V. C., Jordan, A. B., & Donnerstein, E. (2010, April). Health effects of media on children and adolescents. Pediatrics, 125(4), 756-767. doi:10.1542/peds.2009-2563

Valkenburg, P. M. & Peter, J. (2013). The differential susceptibility to media effects model. Journal of Communication, 62(2), 221-243. http://dx.doi.org/10.1111/jcom.12024

Valkenberg, P. M., & Peter, J. (2013). Five challenges for the future of media-effects research. International Journal of Communication, 7, 197–215. Retrieved from http://ijoc.org/ojs/index.php/ijoc/article/view/1962/849

Wallmyr, G., & Welin, C. (2006). Young people, pornography, and sexuality: Sources and attitudes. The Journal of School Nursing, 22(5), 290-295. http://dx.doi.org/10.1177/10598405060220050801

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Wolak, J., Mitchell, K., & Finkelhor, D. (2007). Unwanted and wanted exposure to online pornography in a national sample of youth internet users. Pediatrics, 119(2), 247-257. doi:10.1542/peds.2006-1891

Wright, P. J. (2011). Mass media effect on youth sexual behavior: Assessing the claim for causality. Communication Yearbook, 35, 343-386.

++Ybarra, M. L., & Mitchell, K. J. (2005). Exposure to internet pornography

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Cyber sexual trauma? Does the internet molest youth?

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Excerpt from the Preface to the first clinical workbook for teen cyber porn addicts by Christopher Mulligan

Excerpt:

Preface

This workbook is written for teens (13 to 18) that have developed an addiction to cyber pornography. Although the psychiatric community has yet to recognize addiction to cyber pornography as representing a distinct or formal diagnostic category, it is evident to mental health professionals that there are teens that have developed a relationship to cyber pornography that is similar, if not identical to, adult cyber porn addiction.

Because teens typically believe they need to conceal their cyber pornography consumption due to fear of punishment from their parents/caregivers and other adults, it is very difficult to establish the prevalence of cyber porn addiction in teens. Teens are very reluctant to discuss their use of cyber porn with anyone, much less agree to engage in a formal study where they would openly discuss their porn consumption. 

Additionally, due to the fact that teens are minors, there are obvious legal and ethical barriers to conducting research on adolescent exposure to cyber pornography.

With this said, there is ample research on adult online sexual behavior, including cyber pornography. For example, 12% of the websites on the Internet are pornographic, which represents approximately 24.5 million websites in all.

In anonymous surveys, 10% of adult males who view cyber pornography self-identify as cyber porn addicts and 20% acknowledge accessing pornography at work. In a study of 800 college students from six different college campuses in the United States, 20% of the students acknowledged viewing pornography every day.

Research has established that 43% of all Internet users view porn with 35 to 44-year-old males being the largest consumers of. Statistics also show approximately 40,000,000 Americans are regular visitors to porn sites and that 70% of men age 18 to 24 visit porn weekly. It has also been established that 25% of all search engine requests are pornography related -- which amounts to approximately 68 million requests per day. Research has also established that approximately 30% of all Internet downloads are pornographic.

Research on cyber porn consumption has established that 34% of Internet users have experienced unwanted exposure to pornography, either through pop-up ads, misdirected links, or e-mails. Sadly, the average age at which a child first sees pornography is 11 years old and 75%  of children and teens remember their first exposure as negative.100,000 websites are devoted strictly to child pornography and the United States is the top producer of pornographic webpages -- almost 250,000,000 pages or 89% of the worldwide market. We know that sex is the number one topic for Internet searches and that 70% of Internet traffic occurs during the 9 to 5 workday or the period of time children are in school.

Given what is known about adult use of cyber pornography, particularly research that is focused on problematic use or addiction, there is no reason to believe that teens -- with equal access and exposure to cyber pornography -- would have fewer problems regulating their online sexual behavior. On the contrary, due to the normal challenges related to teen sexual development -- particularly the process whereby teen’s learn to manage their sexual drives and desires to experience safety, intimacy, and pleasure -- there is every reason to believe that teens are addicted to cyber pornography at a rate similar to, if not in excess of, adults.

As is the case with adults, teens I have worked with report developing a preoccupation with cyber pornography within 3 to 5 exposures. Teens have also told me that once exposed to cyber pornography, they quickly 1) were unable to control their online sexual behavior; 2)experienced a persistent desire to be online searching for porn; 3) developed tolerance;  4) experienced withdrawal symptoms, and; 5) experienced negative consequences such as social isolation, withdrawal from physical activities, ignoring family relationships, and ignoring school related responsibilities.

Additionally, as research has established with adult cybersex and cyber porn addicts, it is the perspective of this workbook that teens participate in online sexual behavior, particularly pornography, to cope with painful emotional states related to complex off-line problems (e.g., loneliness, rejection by peers of the opposite sex, chronic depression, chronic social anxiety, attention deficit problems, and social communication deficits/autism spectrum disorder).

Summer Program: "Get Unplugged"

CYBER ADDICTION RECOVERY CENTER

SUMMER PROGRAM

“Get Unplugged!”

Wilderness Adventures for “Tech” Dependent-Addicted Kids and Teens

Christopher Mulligan LCSW is offering therapeutic activities in our local-natural surroundings designed to help children and teens break the destructive cycle of compulsive internet use and video gaming. Children/teens will participate in outdoor activities that are organized to develop self-awareness, empathy, physical skills, communication skills, respect, trust in self and others, self-regulation skills, and psychological and physical courage.

In order to create new and adaptive behaviors “tech” dependent/addicted children and teens must get “unplugged” from their home environment. Participating in outdoor activities is one of the most effective ways to create accurate self- awareness of the negative consequences of compulsive use of technology and develop social motivation, social skills, and new recreational interests.

Sample of Adventures:

Adventure 1: Day Hike

Adventure 2: Bike riding

Adventure 3: Pool and Beach Swimming

Adventure 4: Rock climbing

Adventure 5: Kayaking

Adventure 6: Surfing/boogie boarding

Adventure 7: Roller blading/Scooter riding

Adventure 8: Park day (relay races and capture the flag)

Adventure Groups will meet one day per week from 9am to 4pm (your choice of Wednesday/Friday/Saturday).

For more information, contact Christopher Mulligan LCSW at 855-735-4357 or email cyberrecovery@gmail.com