Here is an excerpt from an article in today's online
Psychology Today.
Porn: Its Problems, Perils, and Pitfalls
Today's hyper-stimulating erotica and porn pose substantial addictive risks.
Not that I see anything intrinsically wrong or unethical about erotica or pornography. Such contrived titillation does in fact serve some useful purposes. As in offering people a brief respite from stress or boredom; or a mini-vacation from the tasks, obligations, and responsibilities of everyday life. Porn can also help individuals with a low libido become more sexually aroused. And in certain instances it can actually improve sexual sophistication and performance. Additionally, couples sometimes report that porn adds spice and novelty to their sex life. Moreover, research generally hasn’t supported the common claim that porn involvement leads to increased violence against women, contributing to rape as well as chauvinistic or cavalier attitudes toward rape. In fact, many of the familiar moralistic attacks against pornography have failed to receive much empirical support.
Still, what the accumulating literature on the subject has been demonstrating is, frankly, rather scary. As in, “Be afraid . . . be very afraid.” If erotica and porn are used cautiously and in moderation—vs. exclusively or excessively—and as only one of several activities to engage in during one’s “down-time,” it will probably be free of harmful consequences.That is, if it’s not abused. Still, given how we humans (particularly males) are “wired,” few things in life have more addictive potential than turning on to porn on a daily basis. And as psychological and neuro-scientific studies on this so-controversial subject become evermore abundant, the hazards of porn are becoming increasingly difficult to deny.
Consider also the fact that producers of porn, to survive financially in a highly competitive, multi-billion dollar industry, are compelled to make their product as addicting as possible. As in the junk food industry, where the goal is—through giving patrons a particularly “savory” experience—to get them to repeatedly come back for more, these entrepreneurs’ primary objective has to be to deliberately “create craving.” All of which should give you a better sense of how difficult it can be for many people not to eventually fall into the quagmire of porn abuse . . . then dependency . . . then, finally, full-blown addiction. They may start out capable of controlling this euphoria-inducing activity. But at some point that control is lost, their better judgment seriously impaired by a now hijacked brain. And once hooked, they’re no longer able to resist the enormous temptation that porn has become for them.
It’s something akin to trying to lose weight but yet keeping a giant brownie at hand. Sooner or later, it’s virtually guaranteed that the availability of the sweet will doom all efforts to avoid such self-defeating indulgence. And with porn the situation is much worse in that most of us use our computer for various things, so it’s on most of the time—and an “appetizing” porn site is just a click or two away.
In my last post I highlighted a miscellany of relatively recent erotic illusions and went into the neurological, mental, and emotional reasons for their popularity. For they add potent visual cues (for men) or beguiling psychological cues (for women), craftily calculated to accentuate the viewer’s, or reader’s, arousal. Such highly seductive “refinements” on conventional porn increase the likelihood that more porn users than ever will get snared by its lure. Which is why I felt I needed to end this protracted series on a cautionary note. However unknowingly, many people who enter the path of pornography find themselves traveling down a slippery slope. Unless they’re able to put on the breaks and turn away in time, they’re apt to lose their balance altogether. And, as this post will suggest, regaining control can be every bit as difficult and challenging as overcoming other addictions routinely viewed as more dangerous.
Although I’d like to focus my attention on porn addiction, first it may be best to enumerate some problems associated with porn use independent of whether the individual actually gets addicted to it. None of these are to be taken lightly.Many researchers, cultural critics, and mental health professionals have pointed out that porn raises expectations for males counter to what real life can offer. Women are regularly portrayed as ready, willing, and able to do whatever their (beefcake) lover might choose (and that includes welcoming “facials”—and, hopefully, I don’t need to explain what that involves). Naomi Wolf, in an article published in New York Magazine (2003), notes that “in the end, porn doesn’t whet men’s appetites—it turns them off [to] the real thing . . . leading them to see fewer and fewer women as ‘porn-worthy’.” The typically reported result of such a jaded perspective is that more and more males are deciding that the best solution to their arousal problems is to replace the real, 3-dimensional thing (now linked to reduced libido) with the “superior” 2-dimensional erotic turn-ons easily accessible through the Net.
Closely tied to this phenomenon is men’s lessened ability (i.e., under the influence of porn) to forge a truly erotic union with a woman. The hard-earned intimacy of a relationship grounded in affection, love, acceptance, and emotional commitment (rather than simply sex) eludes them as porn makes them more prone than ever to see women as sex objects. And they can’t help but perceive the actual women in their life as somehow inferiorsex objects—certainly as compared to the porn models they’ve grown accustomed to watching, and who now represent their “norm.” Sadly, taking the line of least resistance, they can substitute pseudo-intimacy for the genuine intimacy achievable only with a real-life partner. Which, I think we’d all agree, offers a far more fulfilling experience. Fantasized intimacy may facilitate orgasm, but it can also leave the individual feeling empty and disconnected afterwards.
If continued exposure to porn inclines men to see real women as less physically appealing, and to experience sexual relations as less than satisfying, where does all this leave women? For one thing, they may complain that when they’re having sex with their porn-abusing partner, they can tell that his closed eyes are inwardly focusing on something other than themselves. In other words, these males just aren’t with them; they’re outside looking in (or within)—truly “missing in action.”And there are other problems as well. Women tend to be much more concerned—and self-conscious—about their appearance than men. Recognizing that as imperfect beings they can’t possibly match up with the cyberspace beauties that men, however vicariously, may be “devouring” daily on the Web, their insecurity and self-doubt can become magnified. Beyond this, many women report that men seem to show less interest in foreplay and turning them on. Rather, taking their lead from innumerable Internet examples, they can be almost obsessed with employing female bodies to maximize their own lustful pleasure—or at least to reach climax. And in the end such alienated sex fosters not greater emotional closeness but a less-than-involved detachment, or loneliness—and for both parties.
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